Thank God for the Government

Once again, the government has mercifully swooped in to save us from ourselves.

The proaction demonstrated by the Dallas City Council yesterday in passing an enhancement of the ban on public smoking was impressive. They moved swiftly in unilaterally deciding what was in the best interest of The People. The issue was clear and they somehow already knew what The People wanted even without putting the issue to a vote, so they skipped that time-wasting exercise and took action.

After all, this IS a public health issue. It is becoming more and more obvious that We The Sheeple are woefully inept at caring for ourselves or our health on our own, so we are very lucky to have our government acting quickly and decisively on issues like these. The move by the council is the equivalent of the knight in shining armor, coming to the rescue of us and those poor, helpless employees of bars, pool halls, restaurants and other public venues who clearly have no choice but to work there and endure all the nasty horrible smoke.

This is a wonderful development for those who don't smoke and don't want to be around it. Before the government stepped in, nonsmokers had no choice but to go eat, drink and be merry at establishments full of smokers and the product of their nasty habit. And let's not forget about those dumb business owners, who are undoubtedly singing and dancing with joy in the wake of the government's decision to assume the responsibility of helping run their businesses. They were obviously failing miserably at doing so on their own.

Last but not least, those nasty smokers are having to face the fact that, although buying, possessing, and smoking cigarettes is perfectly legal, the tax dollars that the sale of cigarettes generates, isn't really wanted or needed. They're having to understand that they are a lower class of people whose behavior must be dictated by the government and that they have no choice in the matter.

Personally, I'm thrilled to be freed from the responsibility to choose whether or not to work in a bar that allows smoking, or whether to patronize establishments that allow smoking. After all, it was evidently too great a burden for nonsmokers to have those choices and act accordingly.

I look forward to living in a nirvana where worries like these are a thing of the past, and the government shoulders all of the burdens of choice and responsibility on my behalf.